


THIS IS ME WRITING OUT A PANIC ATTACK I HAD AND HOW I COPED

by Shuichis_Ahoge



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:13:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28519935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shuichis_Ahoge/pseuds/Shuichis_Ahoge
Summary: john egbert comfort character gang hiiiiiiiiiiiso anywayskarkat breaks down in the middle of the night but john is there to help him through it
Relationships: John Egbert/Karkat Vantas
Kudos: 5





	THIS IS ME WRITING OUT A PANIC ATTACK I HAD AND HOW I COPED

Tears bombarded his face.

He couldn't breathe.

He felt so disgusting.

His eyes stung, heart ached.

He'd gone so long without a thought like this.

A harmful one.

It wasn't even really what he was upset about originally that was doing this to him.

Simply the fact that 4 months without a harmful thought, had been thrown out the window over it.

He'd lasted so long.

Gotten through so much.

And then it all ends because of this.

It probably wasn't even a big deal.

He just enveloped himself in thoughts of the worst case scenario.

He probably wouldn't even be upset in the morning.

John's arm tightened around him, apparently he had woken up. It brought Karkat back down to Earth. John was here. He needed to calm down, but he couldn't.

He sealed his lips. He didn't want John to hear him. He didn't want to disturb him. He probably wouldn't care anyways. Karkat probably didn't mean anything to him. John probably just felt lonely, and Karkat was naive.

Another wave of sorrow made itself apparent on his cheeks.

He wanted to mean something to John.

He couldn't stop shaking.

John's head slowly lifted from behind him.

He knew by now, Karkat could cry aloud now.

John lifted his hand up to Karkat's cheek in the blackness.

"Karkat!"

Karkat attempted to speak, but the sound wouldn't escape, only more silent sobs and gasps. He didn't know what he would've said anyways.

John's arm fell back down to Karkat's torso, pulling his hand to his chest and taking a deep breath. "Okay, look, I'm right here, Karkat."

Karkat's lungs hurt. He couldn't breathe. His eyes stung.

"It's alright, I'm here. You're going to be okay." John tucked his head closer to Karkat's neck and pulled his knees upward to lock their legs together. "Breathe."

He tried. The tears slowly stopped.

He hadn't felt any better.

Nor could he breathe still.

Yet John's presence stopped the emotional draining.

It pulled the thoughts to a hault.

He still felt like shit, it hadn't changed that whatsoever.

Yet John was there.

And he cared about Karkat.

"J-John...?"

"Yeah?"

"D...Do you..."

He waited patiently for him to finish, grabbing Karkat's hand and stroking this thumb over it.

"...Care about m-me...?"

"Oh, Karkat..."

His eyes stung once more.

"Of course I do..."

Another tear fell as he squeezed his hand back. "I-I... love you, J-John..."

"I love you, too, Karkat."

"I-I just... It feels like no one cares about me... They only e-ever talk to me when they have problems... B-But when I try to talk about mine... Th-They don't...f-fucking listen..."

"Mm... Uh, well... Unfortunately... There probably are some people like that, but... There are those of us who do care about you, Karkat. And that's what matters, all right?"

"O-Okay..."

"Look at me, Karkat."

He slowly turned around to look at John.

He leaned down and pressed his lips to the troll's.

He smiled, pulling Karkat closer to him.

He tucked his head into John's chest, entwining their legs awkwardly, hands bundled up by his face.

It felt safe.

It was alright.


End file.
